The Positive and Negative of Family Crisis

Stresses are most often associated with problems that inconvinient our lives and therefore do more harm to us than good. But in fact, it is quiet the opposite.

Take for example excersice. When working out, the muscles tear and tend to grow back stronger than they were before-- hence muscle mass. Working them out indeed destroys the muscle fibers and tissues but because of the way we percieve it, we tend to associate good health, strength and good looks with those that regularly excersice. Why is it then that other stresses or pains that occur in our lives don't benefit us in the same way?

Family Researchers have suggested a model or equation that helps us understand stressors and family crises:

A- Actual Event
B- Both Resouces & Responses
C- Cognition (Perspective)
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Total eXperience

This model suggests that both A and B can be different but as long as we look at the challenges or stresses in a positive way, it will determine if the total eXperience is for our good or bad.

There are several stresses in my life at this time such as:
-Going to college and trying to get the best grades I can to be able to support my family
-My calling as Counselor in the Elder's Quorum Presidency which includes duties such as making sure the members of my ward (church) are doing good and that new members feel welcome. It also includes making sure activities are being done and that help is distributed evenly to those that are having difficulties or struggling.
-Doing the dishes, laundry, taking out the trash, helping my wife with her homework, working part-time, and making sure that my wife and I read our scriptures and are praying daily, and cooking-- these simple small tasks build up each day and can be a stress.

But because of these stressors in my life I am grateful and am filled with life-- more than ever before. I have grown closer to my wife as I have helped her in her daily duties and have served her. I have never grown so close to someone as I have served them with all my energy and heart. I also have become closer to the Lord as I have served in my ward and helped those in need-- this helps me to take the worries and attention off of me and use that energy to help others who are worse off than me.

If it weren't for my trials, stresses, the 15-20 moves I have done in the past couple years, my parent's divorce, the stress of making new friends at school and having to find a job-- if it weren't for those things, I would not be as strong as I am now. I testify to the research done on family crisis: that they are to build us, as long as we keep a positive perspective on it.